I listened to a wonderful programme on BBC Radio 4 a while back, entitled The Secretaries Of Juliet.

It described a group of women who work with The Juliet Club in the famous Italian town of Verona, replying to hand-written letters requesting romantic advice from the heroine of Shakespeare’s great play Romeo And Juliet.

So how does the approach to responding to these letters remind us of the principles of great business coaching? The key is in guidance rather than prescriptive advice. Read on to find out more.

Some background, for the uninitiated

Shakespeare’s play Romeo And Juliet was set in Verona, Italy. If you go to Verona you can visit the actual balcony, the famous location of one of the most famous scenes in literature.

It’s amazing to stand underneath this balcony and imagine actually being there when Juliet so famously called for her beloved Romeo.

So powerful is the experience that hundreds of thousands of people visit the balcony every year. The walls are covered with graffiti, most of it addressed to Romeo and/or Juliet. One can only imagine what the young lovers would actually think of it all.

Many people take things one step further. Around 10,000 people a year – most, but not all, women – write letters to Juliet asking for her advice, each of them expecting a response.

OK, let’s take stock here. Of the 500,000 people a year who visit a balcony on the side of a house, roughly 10,000 of them write a letter to a fictional character who, even if she was not fictional, would have lived over 500 years ago.

A young woman who (spoiler alert) kills herself at the end of the play.

So who are the Secretaries?

Fortunately, there are a group of women in Verona who set themselves the task of responding to these letters, as Juliet. The radio programme interviews these women, reads our some of the letters (they can be quite heart breaking, even when you remember that they are writing to a fictional character, expecting a response).

The inspiring part of the programme was, for me, how carefully the responses were crafted. The women at Il Club Di Giulietta (The Juliet Club, as the society is known) take great care never to give advice, but instead urge the lovelorn correspondents to search within their hearts, to stay true to themselves, or, if more practical advice was required, to speak to those who they love and respect for advice.

Always positive, always caring, but never prescriptive.

How does this apply to coaching?

Most of us dispense advice to others at some time or another, either professionally or personally. It’s good to remember that the person receiving the advice will not be of the same world view as the person giving the advice.

This is why, when dispensing any sort of professional advice, we need to be skilled in understanding the client first. And I mean really understanding the client, which often-times means helping the client understand themselves.

It’s also why a business coach should steer away from delivering advice at all, instead helping a coachee to work through their issues and come up with solutions which are right for them, which fit their circumstances.

And it’s why I am wary of mentors or business consultants who may have been successful business people themselves. Often untrained in coaching skills they dispense advice based on what worked for them.

I guess it’s the difference between coaching, advice, and telling people what to do. The Secretaries Of Juliet never tell people what to do. One suspects that Juliet herself would approve.

What are your experiences with listening and advising? Please share them with us.

This article is an edited version from one originally written by Chris Budd and published at http://www.adviserlounge.co.uk/2015/04/29/the-secretaries-of-juliet/