The Crime
Temptation comes into the life of every coach in the form of a quick fix for the coachee: a bit of advice; some leading questions and finally some praise when the client chooses the answer they hoped they would… The coach then, in a rush of guilt, diminishes their crime by saying “I was mentoring” .
Ok, the word “crime” is a bit emotive – and I do believe there are times, in the context of coaching and mentoring, that giving advice is exactly the right thing to do: but this is rare. It is too easy to muddy a potential coaching conversation with your less than perfect understanding of the issue.
What compounds this problem for many newly trained coaches is that they feel compelled to give advice and solve problems. The effort this takes, in trying to manage that compulsion, interferes with their ability to maintain their attention on the coachee.
Investigating the Problem
The problem starts because the coach has not let go of wanting to solve the problem and therefore derails the whole purpose of coaching which is to develop the capability of the coachee. I believe that line-managers as coaches have the toughest time because they are accountable for the achievement of the business goals whereas it is easier for the independent coach to be detached from them. Mentors and specialist advisors are somewhere in between.
The problem with helping to solve the problem is that the coach focuses on attempting to understand the problem rather than the more helpful perspective of identifying the structure of the problem. The former gets the coach into coachees detailed perspective of being stuck and the coach can find themselves just as stuck. Whereas identifying the structure of the problem helps the coach to identify what question to ask next for the benefit of the coachee.
Crime Prevention Tactics
David Hemery (1968 Olympic Gold Medalist, 400m hurdles and Coach) gives great advice to line managers as coaches: In every conversation, purse your lips ready to form the words: what, where, when or who. Because, if you start with an open question you can easily shift to telling later, if that is necessary. It is much harder to move from a directive conversation into a coaching conversation because the listener has already let go of their responsibility to solve the problem
At the start of the conversation be very clear as to your purpose around the topic raised. If you want to develop the capability of the person to handle the topic now and in the future then coach. If in doubt: coach. If they just want information that you have then give it.
Tactics summarised:
- Prepare yourself to start every conversation with an open question to reveal more
relevant information. This helps to defer any compulsion to solve, and leaves responsibility with the coachee - Decide whether you want to develop the coachees capability around this issue. This helps to remind you to coach at the logical/structural level rather than to get sucked into the detail
Please share with me your tactics for staying “the right side of the law” and how you know when to “bend the rules”.
Author: Ned Skelton
From September 2011 Newsletter